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Dear Diary

By Guest Researcher, Fern Longchamp

From the Diary of Catherine Carson

Wildflower Spoilers

I can't help but smile and yet feel sad all at the same time as I sit here. The view from my bedroom window has changed from that reclusive back yard in the city to the inviting and open grounds of Doctor Marlowe's house…my house now. It seems so long since Geraldine died, my past reared its still mysterious head, and Howard was arrested. They are no longer my Mother and Father anymore, how funny. I have no past really. Yet I sit here and smile. Smile because my days are filled with laughter and love, affection, friends who call daily. It seems that my move has helped Emma, the Doctor's sister. I think we could be kindred spirits of a sort, even though she is so much older than myself. We are alike in many ways.

I never thought of myself of someone significant but it seems that in just a short time, I have affected so many lives, changed so many lives. Me, I did that. Even with the group therapies it took my tragedies… oh what am I saying? I would gladly have traded places with Star, Misty, even Jade with her elated view of herself. What it must feel like to KNOW that you are beautiful, to now that people probably envy you…ah just to have that self-confidence, even if she tried to kill herself. I would love to have Misty's nonchalance about life, her vigor, that twinkle of mischief in MY eye. And Star, who wouldn't want her strength of character, her determination to be better than what her life gave her but to always keep in mind that she was no better and no less than anyone else.

Oh, if they knew how much I envied them.

-Cathy the Cat

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